PT Player is a wrestler, manager, and promoter (under the Charity Appeal Wrestling Shows (CAWS) banner , based in Luton) who has been in the business at various levels and in different roles for several years, often juggling several different roles at any one time. He has had the opportunity to work with several stars of the UK scene in various ways in his different roles in the industry. He promotes family-friendly wrestling shows and the company strives to always deliver a quality product.
After I had written an article about my experience with Depression, and how pro wrestling journalism had given me some focus and direction which had helped me a great deal, PT contacted me to offer some words of encouragement and also offered an interview to discuss his own experiences. We thought that this would be a good way to raise awareness about Depression, as well as potentially helpful to anyone who may be struggling whether they be in the wrestling business or a fan. The interview covers a great many topics, and while parts will be used in upcoming articles that I am currently working on, I felt that the interview in it's entirety makes for insightful, interesting and entertaining reading, so I have shared it here in its complete form.
What made you want to become a wrestler & how did you find a training school?
Well, to be honest, I didnt want to be a wrestler. I wanted to be a heel manager. I ended up doing it in a reasonably sensible order, bar one thing. I became a wrestler last, which means I limited my time to get to do that part. I went from journalist, to talent relations, to heel manager, to promoter, to wrestler. And now juggle all of those roles at once. I would have said booker as well, as I spent many years booking my shows, but I now share that role, and if anything; only look for myself to have a final overseeing of sorts, as to be blunt, my current booker is really, really good.
I just had some kind of urge to prove to myself, and a lot of doubters, I could get in there; on however basic a level. The internet is the place to find a training school, but I'd have to say, unless you have justification, don't get involved with smaller wrestling schools unless you've had clarification from a trusted source that they're respectable. If you haven't got that, go to the more known and established ones. This is your health you're playing with.
What is the hardest part about training to become a professional wrestler?
It isn’t my idea of fun. My favourite part is something I’ll forever do whilst I perform on any level, wrestler or manager, and that is my “homework”. Studying dvd’s (I download a lot), is my idea of heaven. I have thousands of personally downloaded and made dvd’s, with every promotion you can ever think of (and some you can’t), from the late 1970’s right up to the current day. You only need to ask any of the boys who have ever stayed at mine before and after a show, I have a dvd collection to die for. And studying, stealing, adapting, learning, etc, that’s a buzz for me.
What is the best piece of advice that you were given back while you were training?
Really, I'd say that would be that with a personality like mine, it wouldn't be much of a stretch of the imagination to pretty much "live the gimmick". It's got me this far.
What advice would you give to anyone who wants to become a professional wrestler?
My initial reaction is to shout the word 'don't!' It's a very bitchy, childish, back stabbing business, full of liars; full of people who scream the word 'professionalism' at you, but their idea of professionalism is to shake your hand, smile to your face, and instantly (either verbally or otherwise) stab you in the back, the moment your back is turned. I can't do that, at all, ever; and it's got me a lot of issues over the years. To those people, I apologise for having the cheek to be open and honest.
My more positive advice, is to walk in with your eyes wide open, your ears wide open, your mind wide open, and your mouth shut. Opening my mouth has always got me a whole lot of heat in this business, and whilst I stand by it purely because I can only be myself and who I am; I regret some of the things I've said over the years (or simply, having the temperament to have said them out loud as publically as I have).
How can an aspiring student differentiate between what will be a good school and what would be a waste of their time and money?
I don't think it takes too much of a genius. A couple of little pointers I'd throw in .... You can tell those with legitimate experience, you can tell the village hero's who've never truly achieved but like to act like they're a veteran. If they're claiming you'll be able to wrestle/perform in around three to four months, and be on shows, then get the hell out of there as soon as possible. If they're instantly talking about taking weapon shots, or teaching you how to take them, well, no. Because learning to bump safely, learning to chain, learning the absolute basics; that's what's vital. If you build a house shoddily, it will fall down. Solid foundations are needed.
And it's the same with this. If your alarm bells ring over anything, you shouldn't EVER be afraid to approach someone of a higher level, respectfully, via say Facebook or Twitter, and ask them should it be this way. Anyone decent, will reply to you. People in this business need to start helping each other out, unless the heat and issues are beyond repair.
How hard is it for new wrestlers to get bookings when they first start out?
Today? Insanely. Promoters dont want to look outside of their own training school, they don't want to take chances. It's disgustingly hard for new wrestlers to get out there now. The establishment CLAIM they want to help, but they don't want to help people progress to a level where their own spots and roles are in any danger. Even the new 'stars', they don't want to help new wrestlers fully either; because they're the same. It's very hard. I don't envy them at all.
How important is the internet & social media these days in building a name & reputation, & for drawing crowds etc?
For a promotion, it's vital, and yet it's not. If that makes sense, which I hope it does. It's an absolute necessary in every way, but it's also absolutely nothing to be relied upon, as good old fashioned posters, flyers, and word of mouth, will always be the bread and butter of promoting.
For a wrestler, it's a big part of the puzzle too. But you have to go about it right. Plenty of wrestlers don't, and over promote themselves in a manner that will piss people off. It's a fine line to walk.
How did it feel to walk out in front of a crowd for the first time, and how long before your confidence grew to a point of feeling comfortable in front of an audience?
First show, I thought I was ready. And, my god, I really wasn't. At all.
Didn't take long at all to feel comfortable though. And I've been professionally attempting to incite riots as a heel manager ever since, haha.
When did you first decide to start promoting shows yourself, and how did that come about for you?
2006. It drove me mad. I was as miserable as hell at the place I was performing the most. It was, and I hear still is, despite a name change on their part due to being caught out for tax evading; an absolute hellhole to work in. So by March 2007, I promoted my first show. Again, I thought I was ready. And once more, I really, really wasn't. It's been a hell of a roller coaster ride that writing no amount of autogbiographies could ever cover and fully explain.
What difficulties have you experienced in running independent shows?
I can't even begin. We've had car crashes outside the venue that caused the main road to be closed off, before a show. So many shows where the week of it, right up to the day of the show, talent pulls out for illness, or family reasons, or work, etc. I've had various lowlifes try to have even get my charity and fundraising shows cancelled. I've had alleged 'wrestlers' turn up to cause trouble/fights, and police called out to the scene. So many people have tried to scare or threaten me out of this business at some stage, including some very well known top stars. I kind of feel in the mood to expose them.....but I'm going to step away from it on this occasion. If you ever want another interview, I'll talk about it then, as I'd rather keep this one as positive as possible.
What are the benefits and upsides of being a promoter?
Are there any? I often wonder. When the show goes great, they credit the talent. If the show goes badly, they blame the promoter. It's the mentality of professional football in a lot of ways. You can't keep everyone happy all the time, as promoter, either. It's a thankless task and role, it sounds great to tell women though; so I suppose that's one positive aspect to it. Calling your own shots is good, but it brings a heavy price, and weight on your shoulders, along with it.
Which British wrestlers do you feel have made the biggest impact on the sport (either from World Of Sport, or those who have gained international fame)?
I'm going to be a little biased.
Jonny Storm is a man I've been friends with since 2005. We have a huge level of personal banter, I adore every moment of performing on shows and in matches with him, and the giggle we have backstage. I still think he is the best this country has to offer (even though I constantly wind him up about his getting older now!).
James Mason. It's been an honour to work with James on a few occasions. James is blunt, when I ask advice, thoughts, anything; James will always tell me straight, no matter what. His honesty is priceless, along with his experience and views. I've even grown up a bit for talking with James.
Johnny Kidd. Who is also, like me, from Luton. My hero. The man I grew up idolising. His two matches vs James Mason, on shows I promoted; I didn't care if it looked unprofessional, I sat in the crowd with my children, and my parents. Hell, everyone was watching from behind the curtain anyway. When people that talented perform, the world stops for a little while, and you watch, and you learn.
What has British wrestling contributed to the wider wrestling world?
I'm going to risk being offensive here, it's not today's era that will ever be remembered that heavily. It's the World Of Sport era that contributed to the wrestling world. That will always be the best era of British wrestling, by far and away. I don't care if you can fly and fall and twist your body at various degrees. That's more gymnastics. Professional wrestling to me, is characters, personalities (original ones), the ability to talk your way into a crowd loving or hating you, it's back and forth holds and counter holds, it's bad guys that actually WANT to be bad guys, and not to be 'cool', and quite simply, in two words - it's "old school". And this country gave the wrestling world the World Of Sport era, which will always be respected, loved, spoken of wistfully and fondly; and still studied in depth for many decades to come.
Which wrestlers on the current British scene do you feel have the potential to become big stars in the industry?
I'm not a huge fan of the current scene. And the names I'll mention, I've had little up's and down's with over the years. The first name I'll say, without a shadow of a doubt, head and shoulders above the rest, Darrell Allen. He's grown into something extremely special. And also Pete Dunne. He's at a serious breakout point now. And Ryan Smile. I'd like to think he remembers the days when I believed in him, and gave him the time of day when many told me not to. These three are great, and an absolute pleasure to watch.
Do you think that British wrestling could ever be a strong territory like Japan and Mexico again, and get back to the level of the old World Of Sport Days?
Honestly? No. I think it can continue to move forward really well, it's made some huge steps once more in recent years. But whilst British wrestling is campaigning for itself to be on television, it's kind of embarrassing. The fans should be doing that, not the boys backstage. In the business, the main focus should be to be bringing a level of performance, a quality of match and show, to make the fans want to do that; not to be shouting their own self worth. I know this is going to end up taken out of context, and I know it's going to get me a lot of abuse; but this is how I honestly see it, and how I believe that precious few have the balls to say it. British wrestling can be strong again, it can be really good again, but it needs to stop blowing it's own trumpet every time it achieves something; and it needs to start making the fans want to blow that trumpet proudly instead.
How long have you suffered from depression, and how long did you struggle before seeking help?
I was diagnosed clinically depressed in February 2010. I went for years without seeking proper help. I've always been blessed with good friends, and also higher profile friends. I thank a former Luton Town FC player, every time I speak of this, for his friendship at that time in my life; and that would be a striker called Tom Craddock. Like a lot of the lads in professional football, he's a WWE fan, and we always got on very well. When you have an ex Premiership player's attention, as a friend, and he's supporting you; it can be very inspirational. Tom used to celebrate goals with me on some occasions when he'd score, at home games at Luton, and it would be something to look forward to, and a lot of fun.
Do you feel that as a male, and especially being in the business, made it harder to accept or talk about depression openly?
Yes and no. I thank god that this has become a more acceptable subject to talk about openly. It's just a shame it's taken some tragic incidents and situations for it to become so. Most people in professional wrestling are screwed up, or have issues, or demons. It's whether they choose to admit it. OCD, ADHD, drug habits, depression, self harming, and more. I pray that everyone opens up more, and helps each other in the ways that they can. Never stop checking in on how your friends are.....I know myself, you never know when it's the last time you'll be able to.
In what ways has being in the wrestling business helped you to combat depression?
Performing is a rush that helps us all. We struggle before, we fall down after, but when the music hits to go out there, when the lights are on bright, we're alive. Knowing you've got that moment to live for, can help you get through the lowest moments.
Are there ways that the business is hurtful to people with depression?
Attitudes within the business, as I've hinted about the childishness and bitchiness of it at the start of this interview. The backstabbing nature of the business makes it very hard to cope. Unless you're a complete scumbag, and I'm really tempted to throw another wrestler's name or two out there, but won't; then you'll always find this business hard to cope with in those respects, let alone if you have issues such as we're talking about here. It can make you insecure, the constant competitive dog eat dog nature.
What steps do you take when you experience the triggers of your depression to ensure it doesn't get out of hand?
I sleep. Sleep is a safe place. Like many, I play Xbox. Music, music is probably everyone's way out, I write and play guitar too. In an ideal world, I'd choose to walk down the beach at night.
And if I can handle it, I take time with my children. I have two absolutely amazing, incredibly bright, good looking, gifted, and big hearted children; Andrew and Victoria, who will go on to do anything that they want to in this life. They'll outshine anything I ever did. And I'll be the proudest Daddy in the world, no matter what age they are.
What advice would you give to people, both in and outside the business who are struggling with depression?
Reach out. For your sake, and for your friends and family's sake, reach out. People do care. They do understand. Even if you think they don't, or won't, you'll find someone that does. I would openly say anyone reading this interview is free to contact you, Nathan, and be given my email address. If I can help anyone who's read this, I would consider it an honour.
I want to thank you for giving me this chance to speak, as well. There are so many misconceptions, lies, and such, when my name comes up. I thank you for giving me the time here, to show that, yes, I am still opinionated in a manner that makes a lot of people not want to work with me; but despite that, I am only saying what I feel to be true, like everyone has their own right to, and that my heart is worn upon my sleeve.
I just want to take this opportunity to thank PT for this great interview and for his openness and honesty about his business, his experiences and about Depression - a very personal illness which can destroy people's lives, and is still widely misunderstood due to a severe lack of public education regarding the realities and extremities of mental illness in general. My hope is that this interview, my interview with Ryan Smile and the articles I have written on the subject of Depression can raise some awareness both inside and outside of the industry and/or can offer a little bit of hope to anyone who may be struggling.
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